Healing Metaphors
Magic is the art and science of changing consciousness at will.
Decisions, Decisions
Introduction
Myra had concerns about her 7 year old daughter, Jill. Myra and her husband had never agreed with the "educational concentration camps" of the traditional school system and had enrolled Jill in a highly regarded private alternative school. Things went well there for a few years until Jill started having problems. She didn't seem to learn as quickly and began having difficulty with her teacher. Myra had Jill tested by psychologists and educational specialists.
She received lots of advice from these experts, but each expert had his or her own opinion; they could not agree. Get Jill out of that classroom. Keep her there and hire a tutor. Put Jill in a special ed program in public school. Put her into a standard classroom. Start her in therapy. Leave things alone.
What should Myra do? To whom should she listen? She began to have difficulty falling asleep. She kept second guessing herself. She couldn't come to a decision. Jill kept having trouble in school. Myra and her husband began to fight over how to proceed. She vacillated. Then she brought the issue into therapy.
She related a dream in which she and Jill struggled in the middle of a stormy ocean. Jill kept sinking into the waves. Myra struggled to pull her up, but the waves kept buffeting them. Large textbooks floated around them and Myra kept trying to help Jill climb up on one, but she just couldn't do it.
Myra felt uncomfortable. She didn't want a therapist making up her mind for her. I explained to her that I don't make other people's decisions. Since she would have to live with the decision, it needed to be her decision; not a decision made by yet another "expert".
Intervention
I had Myra sit in my easy chair, close her eyes, breathe easily and imagine herself in a safe, serene and comfortable place. I had her notice the sights, sounds, smells and sensations there. When she opened her eyes she described sitting in the garden in her front yard where sights and scents were the most vivid.
I guided her into a hypnotic trance focusing on her garden, the scenery there, and relaxation. As her trance deepened and she visibly began to relax:
This is your garden, and if anything seems out of place, out of balance, you can change it, simply by willing it to be different. Your neighbors fade away, the power lines are gone. This is your garden and you are at home here. Anything that you don't need here can go away just by letting it go.
I walked her through the garden a bit, making the pleasant scenery a bit more vivid. I kept emphasizing that she was in control, this was her garden, and that what filled it was up to her. Having established a safe base, I led her into the realm of difficulty:
As you wander through your garden, you find a path you've never seen before, over there in that corner. It looks like an interesting path, perhaps you'd like to explore it. Since it starts in your garden, it must still be a part of your garden, a part that you need to know about.
I began to describe the path a bit as I led her down it. Then I invited her to take an active role in creating her path by asking her what it looked like. What types of plants grew there? What color were the flowers? What did she smell? I asked questions designed to help her intensify the experience of walking down a new path. Then I brought her to a place of decision:
As you follow the path, you come to a place where it forks. You can only choose one direction. There are signs next to each branch of the path. Each sign contains "valuable" information from many "experts", explaining why you should take one branch of the path and not the other . . . The signs are very big, and densely covered with fine print . . . As you try to study all these "expert" opinions you realize that they contradict each other . . .
Relaxing even more completely, you notice that the writing on the signs becomes blurry . . . out of focus . . . The opinions of experts no longer matter.
your garden. You have the power to choose your path. In your heart, you know which way to go. Be still . . . wait until you know . . . then walk down the path of your choice without looking back.This is
I gave her a minute of silence.
What is it like on the path you have chosen? Is is level or hilly? What do you smell? What kind of plants are growing alongside you path? Where does it lead you?
I spent some time with her on her path of choice, then led her back to her garden and back into waking consciousness again. She appeared more serene, more relaxed than she had been when she had arrived.
Outcome
She had enjoyed transforming her garden into a place of power, perfecting it her way, without limitations. It had surprised her to find the hidden path, and she enjoyed exploring it. When she first encountered the intersections and the signs she began to read them carefully until they began to blur and go out of focus. Then she relaxed, took a breath, and followed the path that seemed right. This path led her to a warm, comfortable tropical beach with a calm ocean stretching away toward the horizon. As she walked to the water's edge, she noticed Jill, wading safely.
Myra left the session refreshed and confident that she could come to a good decision. A few weeks later she reported that she had made a decision that felt right.
(This article previously appeared in the Long Beach/South Bay CAMFT newsletter)