Healing Metaphors
Magic is the art and science of changing consciousness at will.
Preventing and Curing Nightmares
Children often go through periods where they fear the dark. They do not want to sleep alone in their rooms. "No, mamma, I'm afraid of ghosts Worst of all, they awaken in the middle of the night, terrified by a horrible dream. No amount of logical persuasion can convince them that they have nothing to fear but their imagination. The darkness becomes a womb of mystery into which their darkest fears can come to life.
Adults experience the world quite differently than young children. We can think abstractly and "know" that ghosts only exist in childish imaginations. We "know" that nothing dangerous lives under the bed, and we "know" that dreams are not real.
Young children cannot apprehend this mindset. Their consciousness works differently. When we tell them they have nothing to fear they "know" that we do not understand the situation. The poor children cannot trust their parents--mostly because of their parents' attempts to reassure them!
Children comprehend their world very concretely, and do not always draw distinct boundaries between their internal experience and the world around them. They experience a different reality than their parents. In order to help a child through the nighttime darkness, a parent must not attempt to pull the child into the adult world. Instead, they must enter the world of the child.
Since children think magically, any parental assistance must also be magical. Spend "magical" time with your child at bedtime. Establish a sequence of events that leave your child drifting off to sleep feeling loved and wanted. For example: Read to your child, then sing them a song and turn out the light. Light a candle and and sit quietly in the room with them for 15 or 20 minutes. You can use this time for meditation or silent contemplation. Your child falls asleep sensing that because your mind is calm, everything must be safe. Blow out the candle and tiptoe out.
Why use the candle? The glow from the candle lends a
warm sense to the room. Fire itself is "magical"; in the form of a candle flame,
it can prove quite calming. A list of other ideas for parental "magic" follows:
- Cast a circle of protection around your child. No, this is not voodoo or some pagan
rite. Instead, you help your child develop a sense of safety by creating an imaginary
barrier between your child and all the dangers outside. To your child, the barrier takes
on an unconscious reality which can help reduce fear.
Casting a circle can take many forms. Engage your child's imagination. For instance, hold a lighted candle high in the air. Ask your child to imagine golden light shining out of the candle and making golden walls of protection around his room. Walk with the candle around the room to make the walls stronger.
- Another tack engages the four platonic elements: air, earth, fire and water. Step to the north of the room and invite the power of the earth to defend that wall of the room, and to keep all bad influences out. Step to the east and invite the power of air, of the rising sun to defend that wall and protect your child throughout the night. In the south, invoke the mighty fires from the heart of the sun to protect your child. In the west, call upon the water spirits to make an ocean that evil things cannot cross. Do this dramatically, and if possible, enlist your child's aid in invoking these elemental "powers". If your child has a different idea for guardians or elements, work with that idea. This "ritual" uses archetypal imagery to give your child a sense of protection and connection at night.
- Hold a candle high in the air with your non-dominant hand. Reach up with your dominant
hand, as if you are plucking a ray of light from the candle. Slowly bring this ray of
light down to the center of your child's forehead. Imagine that you have connected a
golden thread of light to the child's "third eye". Feel yourself bringing the
warmth of the candle down with your fingers. Feel the warmth of the candle entering into
your child.
Now, allow that golden glow to fill the palm of your hand while you caress your child from their forhead to the back of their neck. Imagine that you're spreading the glow of the candle. Let them help you by imagining a golden glow of magical light surrounding their body to protect them.
- Again, use the candle as a focal point. Talk to your child about angels. Imagine one at the foot of your child's bed. Imagine a name for it. Describe this angel to your child and tell your child the angel's name. Ask your child to imagine the weight of the angel sitting on the foot of their bed.
- A nice effect, providing your child does not have breathing problems, is to burn some incense at bedtime. An incense composed of natural oils, one that is not overpowering, works best. Floral scents, such as rose, lavender or jasmine seem to help insure a calmer sleep. Our brain reacts directly upon the scents which we perceive--this allows a calming odor to directly influence your child's state of mind.
- My children have enjoyed the Moon Meditation very much at bedtime. I have them
close their eyes and imagine a bright silver full moon against a backdrop of stars. I
speak slowly and hypnotically. I flesh out details, sometimes having them imagine that
they can float up and touch the face of the moon. I tell them how the moon comforts them
and protects them with her light.
Imagine that a moonbeam shines on you, and you feel warm and comfortable and safe, very relaxed, just drifting in your bed until you're ready to sleep. The moonbeam winds around you like a silver silken coat of armor. Nothing can get through that moonbeam cacoon. You are completely safe in there . . .
Make certain to NEVER leave a burning candle unattended in your child's room. If you burn incense, make certain that it cannot touch anything flamable, even if it were violently displaced (if somebody stumbles in the room, or during an earthquake).
Children are powerful magicians, able to alter their consciousness and reality at will. With adult guidance and support, they can learn to change consciousness in helpful, healthful ways, instead of tormenting themselves with fear and shadows.
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