Healing Metaphors

Magic is the art and science of changing consciousness at will.

From Earache to Alcoholic

[Drinking Guy] Tom had figured out that his problems did not stem from alcohol abuse, they grew out of his relationship difficulties. After having this revelation, he threw away his collection of AA chips and began attending Alanon meetings. He was not an alcoholic-- two weeks before Christmas he sat down and had one beer. Only one beer--he could control this drinking thing and get on with his life.

Christmas day, alone and missing his ex-girlfriend, he graduated from beer to scotch. One glass of holiday cheer ought to make him feel just fine. And then another glass seemed appropriate. And another, until the bottle seemed as empty as he felt. He felt as lonely as that empty bottle looked. He picked up his phone and began attempting to romance his Claudia, his ex-girlfriend--the one who had broken up with him because of his drinking, the one clean and sober for eight years.

This attempt at "reconciliation" merely convinced Claudia that she was being stalked. After she threatened to call the police and hung up on him for the third time, Tom decided to confront her in person. Surely she couldn't deny her feelings for him in his presence!

On his journey from Studio City to Topanga, Tom drove erratically enough to gain the attention of the law--twice police pulled him over. Twice he talked his way out of an arrest. When he got to Topanga, nobody answered Claudia's doorbell. He bought another fifth of scotch for the trip home.

[Hungover Guy] The next morning he shook so badly he needed a beer just to function. What had he done? How could he have doubted what he had learned in AA? How could he have strayed so far from his Christian upbringing?

My previous sessions with Tom had seemed rather shallow. But the next session after Christmas he seemed much more intense. Yes, he was an alcoholic. A mutual friend had told him that Claudia was getting a restraining order against him. He felt terrible. Please, could I help him get sober? Yes, he was willing to go to any length to maintain sobriety.

In this third attempt at sobriety, Tom seemed serious. Certainly I would work with him, but he needed to attend daily AA meetings for the next three months. He promised to do this and to work the 12 steps of AA with his sponsor.

For the next three weeks, Tom worked hard in therapy. The obsession to drink left him. With alcohol out of his system he began to feel better. Our work focused on letting go of his relationship with Claudia and on not taking that first drink. He reported close contact with his sponsor and taking an active role in AA meetings.

Then came a session when Tom felt very good. He knew he had made a great deal of progress. In fact, he felt certain that his drinking problem had grown out of a relationship gone bad. Now that he had let go of the relationship, he could probably drink again! What did I think?

Normally, I confront denial with evidence from the life of the client. This time, however, I sensed another approach might work better. I began to tell a story. I changed the cadence of my voice, slowing the words down, dropping into a hypnotic rhythm.

When my son was young, about three or four, he used to get terrible earaches. He would wake us up in the middle of the night, crying out with pain. Each time we took him to the doctor, who prescribed an antibiotic, something to knock down the infection.

Now the antibiotics all said "Finish this medication completely" on the label. Antibiotics are wonderful drugs. When we gave them as directed, the earache went away in just a few hours. We would give him his doses, twice a day for a few days, but with the earache gone, it became easy to forget a dose or two. Sometimes, we stopped giving him the medication after only four or five days--out of the ten day supply.

If we didn't give him all the antibiotics, we would have peace for a few days, but soon he would complain of an earache again. Upon returning to the doctor, he would prescribe a stronger, more expensive antibiotic, that was even more unpleasant for my boy to take.

Once again, we would faithfully give the antibiotic for several days. Once again the earache would abate, and sometimes, we would forget to continue his medication until we had used it all up.

And . . . you guessed it! If we didn't give him all the medication, soon his ear would start to ache again. And the doctor would prescribe an even more expensive, stronger, nastier antibiotic. It never took us more than the third time to give my son his entire course of medication.

"Yeah," said Tom, "I really am an alcoholic!" He continued to work the steps with his sponsor, and wrestle with his life issues in session with me. He attends AA meetings regularly He now has more sober time than he has ever had before and he still considers himself a real alcoholic.

12 Steps: A program of spiritual exercises used by Alcoholics Anonymous to help their members recover from alcoholism.
AA: Alcoholics Anonymous: "Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety." Alcoholics Anonymous home page
AA Chips: Small plastic or metal tokens are frequently given by AA meetings to their members upon completion of a certain period of sobriety. These periods are normally 30, 60, and 90 days, 6 and 9 months. A year of complete sobriety is generally celebrated with a birthday cake.
Alanon: "Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity. Our primary purpose is to help families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of problem drinking. The only requirement for membership is to have a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend." Alanon/Alateen home page
Alcoholic: A person who can no longer control and enjoy his or her drinking.
Sobriety: Sobriety is defined as the complete abstinence from alcohol and from recreational use of mind altering substances.
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